June 17, 2009
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EXTRA! EXTRA! THIS JUST IN!!!! It has come to the attention of local authorities that Shakedown’s own Matt Sheelen is not who he claims to be. He is, in fact, the smallest Walton brother. Authorities believe that the ineptitude issues that come with not only being a Walton, but also being the smallest by significant margin, make Matt highly dangerous, though inept and small. Citizens are being urged to play to the odds to avoid a fatal confrontation with Matt.

EXTRA! EXTRA! THIS JUST IN!!!!

It has come to the attention of local authorities that Shakedown’s own Matt Sheelen is not who he claims to be.

He is, in fact, the smallest Walton brother.

Authorities believe that the ineptitude issues that come with not only being a Walton, but also being the smallest by significant margin, make Matt highly dangerous, though inept and small.

Citizens are being urged to play to the odds to avoid a fatal confrontation with Matt.

SHAKEDOWN